Learnings

L'dor v'dor

(Hebrew: from generation to generation)

(Also one of my favorite prayer songs)

(and not one-directional...)

Recently, life-teachers seem to surround me, and at the front of the line are Jake and Sara. I've written about Jake's motto (Don't be afraid), and about Sara's efforts to live her life mask-free, even (or especially) around her friendships with young men.

And of course, I've mentioned my own experiments in removing my masks and unfolding from the contorted happydance in which I had become too practiced. Those changes in me had domino effects on so many of the pieces of my life, that sometimes I doubted the wisdom of making those changes, and my own ability to abandon my old ways all-together.

So, is it working? Is honest and direct communication effective?

I think sometimes people are off-put by directness, particularly from women. In my teens, several young men confessed being intimidated by something in me. And the man I was dating before I met Dave thought that I could be the perfect wife, if I were just less opinionated and more accommodating (he wanted me to become Catholic and a military Officer's Wife) (no f-ing way).

Anyway, I've been working on me. Not on "improving" me, but on just being me. And on not letting life pass me by. Learning from Sara and Jake, I am just who I am, the same me for everyone I meet. Either that is interesting to another or not. Best to find out up front, rather than change to fit what I think another is looking for. As Jake has said, "There are 6 Billion people on earth; I don't need to be your friend."

I'm here to say, "It works."