Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Truths


Truths

The four noble truths

of an ancient belief

are mirrored in

one from mine:

Thou shalt let go of desire.

Dreams of the future

are only a shadowed hope

in the light of now.
Let go of desire.

The ancient truth

of a fictional belief

daily lived by

a child of mine:
Fear is the Mind-killer.

Caution holds me still

Regrets and desperate fear –

Stride forth anyway...

Fear is the mind-killer.

The inner truth

of a hard-won belief –
to hold back wrongful

actions of mine:
Love must be a warming fire.

Like a golden light

arising from within us,

love flows around me
–
Love is a warming fire.

The final truth

of my heart’s belief,
my daughter’s voice

at one with mine:

Love is the soul-healer.

Love grows in safety,

in peaceful comfort mellows

to gentle balance;
Love is the soul-healer.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Tying together the ends...



As 2009 draws to a close, I have been reflecting on several threads of thought and conversations – from this past week and the past year – which have recently begun to weave together into a focus...

A while back, Sara and I had a conversation about "What is love?" and recently, girlfriends wondered if I was dating yet. Chats with another friend have touched on winning and competition within a friendship, or a marriage.

Merging with these thoughts are conversations with Jake about making friends. Jake believes that reality is the great litmus test: If someone sees who he is and doesn't like that, it is good to know up front so he can move on to find someone more suited to a friendship with him. So much harder (but ultimately more simple) than contorting to fit what you think the other wants and needs.

He and I are fans of the original Dune novels -- a maxim from the books which Jake lives daily is "Fear is the mind-killer." We can sit in the dark in fear, or step out (still afraid) and see what happens next. I've done both. I guess mathematically, it makes sense to step out and see what happens. Something will. And you've got the fear with you no matter what.

Then, talks about buddhism, meditation, philosophy, and the converging thoughts between several important belief systems (and described in the Dalai Lama conversation "Destructive Emotions") are helping me understand that strong desires or overpowering pride can create a negative vortex. Ambition, planning, hopes, love -- all these can be very good emotions and tools. But each also can lead to actions that are not helpful. And can actually get in the way of seeing the beauty in front of us now.

Jake's Axiom #4 is a perfect summation: The means don't justify the ends.

I think, maybe, love is about balance. Not about "completing" another, but about being in balance with another. So maybe love is a partnership where each partner "wins" – where they are not in competition with each other. And where each reflects back the best in the other.

And, no, I am not dating yet. But if I do, I think I'll be aware of what I need in a relationship, and where I might go wrong. Not cautious or afraid. Just aware.

I am enjoying deep and meaningful friendships, something I wasn't really good at until recently. Maybe I was so unbalanced, I couldn't really reach out for fear of tipping over. Maybe I was afraid of being rejected. Maybe I was too practiced at holding it all in. At any rate, I am happy now. And maybe more importantly, I am content.

May you all find peace and balance in your own lives...

Thanksgiving III


My new Tradition, which I invented this year, is to treat Thanksgiving like other favorite Jewish Holidays. Sukkot, Pesach (Passover), Hanukah, Rosh HaShannah all have several key components in common: Family and friends, food, and multiple nights for several celebrations. Passover, a seven-day holiday, is often referred to as Pesach I, Pesach II, Pesach III, etc. It is perfectly legitimate to attend a Passover Seder on one night with a friend, and host your own on another night.

I like that. Spreading the holiday over many nights and across many Venn Diagram Circles of Friends.

Thus, we held Thanksgiving III on Saturday, after joining extended family for Thanksgiving I in Seattle.

I plan to always hold Thanksgiving III on the Saturday following Thanksgiving I at Hopeful Farms. Mark your calendars now. You are all invited.

Kim