Sunday, September 27, 2009

l'Shanah Tovah



The time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is an opportunity for Jews to seek forgiveness from those we have wronged. A chance to say "I'm sorry, and I love you." Tonight is the start of Yom Kippur; on this day, Jews fast in order to become closer to G-d, and we petition G-d to forgive us from our promises and our transgressions. (See "Kol Nidrei" in Wikipedia for an interesting summary of the difficulties this has caused Jews in the past...)

The weeks following the "Days of Awe" (Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur), Jews begin to rejoice in the "Days of Joy" (Sukkot and Simchat Torah) – celebrations of the cycle of life and the cycle of the Torah.

A friend and I have been e-chatting about the similarities between prayer and journal writing, and in my case, meditation. Each affords quiet time to reflect and to reach some self-understandings. Sometimes, we reflect on aspects of our past that we wish we could have done over, done better.

And he described a cycle in adult relationships that feels true: "...defining oneself, losing oneself, reclaiming oneself... until the next wave, the next merging..."

Waves

Sometimes,
late at night
as I snuffle through
a sappy chick flick
  
I pause
and wonder
I maybe shoulda
I coulda woulda

  
Blink back
memories
hardened to his needs
too stressed to feel

  
I stop
and admit
that I made mistakes,
though I did my best 

  
Wipe dry
regret’s tears
life is what it is
what will it become?

  
And smile
inner joy
thoughts of those I love
I face the new day.

  

Friday, September 11, 2009

Today is one of my favorite days...


Although 9/11 has taken on an ominous meaning, for our family it is a day of joy -- Jake was born on 9/11.

Sometimes, Nature and Man seem to conspire to put a damper on joy; Jake's special day seems to be primed for that conspiracy. On 9/11/92, Hurricane Iniki (a category 4 storm) hit Hawai'i. We lived on the Windward side of O'ahu, and had minimal damage, though Kaua'i was devastated. Jake's 5-year-old birthday party was postponed, while neighbor helped neighbor prepare for the storm -- taping windows, bringing in lawn furniture, double checking our hurricane supply boxes. We made it up to him later that month.

Then, the morning of his 14th birthday, he awoke to a world gone a little dark, and his parents immobilized to the news reports. We did manage to pull ourselves together in time to take him to dinner with another friend who shared his birthdate. And a trip to Borders. We had his 14 1/2 birthday party on March 11th.

Now, Jake is 22, happily employed in Seattle with football season here.

22. wow.

good times.