life and dogs and death... and life

There are many yardsticks by which I measure my life...

When I was young, the yardstick was the grade I was in.
Then it was before marriage and marriage (and eventually after marriage).
Then I measured the passing of time by the events starring Jake and Sara.
By my ever-changing jobs.
By my dress-size.

Today, I realized another, and much more constant yardstick -- I can tie my life's events to the dogs I've owned, from Gretchen, the dachshund of my childhood, through Heidi and Barni, to Kato my Akita (and the first dog that was completely and only mine), to baby Nene, the puppy Akita that came with us to Hawai'i, and on through many Jack Russells, a few adopted / foster dogs, to my current menagerie.

Today, Jake's dog Draco passed. I buried him in the pet cemetery of my Eugene farm, joining three of my brother's pets and Sara's Isabella. And I realize that Draco's passing is a huge and meaningful milestone.

We moved to Oregon from Hawai'i on Christmas Day 1996, with Sara's gimongous hound dog O'uli, and Jake's Dingo. Dingo went missing within the first week. As is our custom, when your dog disappears or dies, you get to choose a new dog. In mid-February of 1997, we took Jake to the Willamette Humane Society to choose a replacement pup (Dingo had also been a pound-puppy). Jake had studied up on puppy temperament testing (Jake was 9) and was ready to choose a new dog. At the pound that day were a litter of six or seven lab cross puppies, about 6 weeks old. Jake took his time, testing each carefully before choosing the dog that passed all his tests.

Sadly, that pup had already been reserved, and had someone else on the wait list in case the first person backed out. Jake wanted to be added to the wait list rather than take the second best puppy home that day. That decision really frames Jake's outlook on life for me: Don't settle. And believe that if it is right, it will happen.

The pound lady tried to explain to Jake that being third on the list meant that his chances of getting that particular puppy were none to none. Jake smiled and asked her to add his name to the list anyway.

We went home, without a puppy. A short time later (days, maybe a week, I forget) and the pound called to tell Jake that the first two folks had backed out, and the puppy was his if he still wanted him. And so Draco came home to live with us.

Each of us has a Draco story that speaks to his courage, his good humor, his competitive nature, his skill as a puppy babysitter, and his gentleness and trust in us. He was an amazing spirit. He passed peacefully after nearly 15 years of adventures.

Draco is gone. Jake is 24. Life goes on. Measured by the dogs in my yard...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life...

Today is about as perfect a day as possible.... low 80's, light breeze, sunshine. I started the day with coffee and conversation, and mutual love, with Michelle at Hideaway Bakery. Reminds me of how really lucky I am.

Summer certainly took its time arriving, but this past week has more than made up for the very long cold psuedo-summer that preceded. My last entry was the end of Winter (at least, on the calendar). And here it is the middle of Summer.

I am going to admit right now that I have not gotten control of my calendar yet. Too many volunteer projects, too much work, not nearly enough play. I guess that all means that I actually have to plan to reduce the work projects and monitor that every day. Sort of like exercise and diet... it is very easy to fall back into old patterns.

Spring and Summer terms at the UO were the most intense I've ever fallen into -- I took on a new class to co-teach with two colleagues, agreed to be the program chair for a national conference our professional organization hosted in Portland, worked full time with our summer cohort group (four days a week, 8 hours a day, plus some!). All this for a part-time job. All were interesting, useful, challenging, intellectually stimulating. And I had the opportunity to work with some exceedingly wonderful people.

But I think the price was too high. I am going to have to really watch my proclivity to say, "Sure, I can do that..." I have vowed to make this coming year a "volunteer-free year." Wish me luck.

But, in the midst of all of that activity, I did get to travel to Seattle – TWICE – to see Jake's play. The first time, I went up by myself for the Friday night opening. Jerry arrived in town late Friday night. Then Megan and Marshall (my siblings) joined us to see the Saturday night show – Me, Jerry, Megan, Marshall, two people Marshall met on the train, and 5 of my Seattle relatives. We represented about 1/3 of the audience. What a great night!

The next weekend, I accompanied Sara and her friend Craig back to Seattle for one more show.

How was it? Well, I'm the playwright's mom. Some believe that makes me biased.

Here's the opinion of people not related to Jake:

Seattlest

Stephen Gomez

SGN


So, what's Sara up to? Sara is up to her elbows in Summer. As she should be... And very kindly, she has agreed to come to Eugene to be my zoo manager while I take some hikes and little three-day trips with Jerry.

But, selfishly, the best part is that she has agreed to be my dog-wrangler at two local dog shows on September 10 and 11. We used to spend many wonderful weekends traveling to dog shows, showing dogs, hanging with dog people, winding our way home. Back then, our show dogs were Jack Russell Terriers (I still have two of the original crew here). Now the glamour queens are Irish Wolfhounds.

And even more fun, Jake and Sara and I will travel to Clemson Downs, South Carolina, to visit with their great aunt and great uncle. Martha is 100, Mendel is 101. They have been married for 81 years. Jake and I met Mendel and Martha when Jake was 6 and competed in the National Karate Tournament in Green-something Georgia. Mendel and Martha came for a day. Jake has met Mendel one or two other times, but not since he was a teenager. Sara has not met either of them.

Martha is an artist. Mendel has a PhD in education, and was gently supportive of my PhD pursuits. Currently, Mendel is a film-maker. He has filmed other World War II veterans in his retirement community, edits the films, and puts together three segments at a time into 45 to 60 minute chapters. Mendel was the chair of a university department which focused on using multi-media technology in school classrooms. I think I recall a story that Martha and Mendel taught in an Asian country in the 30s. I intend to bring my video camera...

Now that I have forsworn volunteer activities and vowed to get control of my calendar, there are several "self-help" activities that are going back on the weekly to-do list...

1. Post blog updates more regularly
2. Meditate daily
3. Exercise daily
4. Travel away from home and computer at least once a month (work-related travel doesn't count)

I think I'll start today...

Winter

last days of winter

daffodil blooms surround me

sunshine in my heart

Sticking my toe in the water...

Jerry keeps telling me I should publish my poems. Michelle and I plan to write a book, and sprinkle poetry (hers and mine) throughout, but... well, we haven't written the book yet.

So, I'm trying out the "submission" system --- there are thousands of poetry journals and collections, many with online submission sites.

And I got my first acceptance.

You can see it at Creative Writing Now.

Done...

... with Phase 1, anyway.

Sidney drove up from Chico California on Thursday, and we spent the long weekend producing a very clean and concise copy of the COAST (Continuum of Autism Spectrum Traits). Sidney and I work well together, and I think that shows in the finished product.

Thanks to Jake's very skilled (surgical) wielding of the editor's pen, the COAST now reads like a novel -- telling the story of six children with autism and their non-autistic friend.

Phase 2: Get ready for publication.

Phase 2.1: Flow the text into a book layout (I'm brushing up on my InDesign skills).

Phase 2.2: Develop the Evaluator's Manual and data recording/graph pages.

Phase 3 Focus groups of professionals and hopefully parents, giving us feedback.

Phase 3.1: Publish. Even if it's self-published.

Phase 4: Write some grants.

Phase 5: With the funds from the grants, run a variety of validity and reliability (correlational) studies.

Phase 5.1: Also with the funds from the grants, translate the COAST into Spanish. Run validity and reliability studies on the Spanish version.

Phase 5.2: Develop a web-based data entry site (in English and in Spanish)

Phase 5.3: Develop a handbook to compliment the COAST.

Buy a copy... we'll autograph it for you.

GO Ducks ! ! !

Game Day.

And Oh SO Much More than Game Day.

Even the Eugene Police have upgraded their Official Image – Note the Oregon Flag attached to the rear window.


Update, January 11, 2010: Oh MY, what a game. We didn't win, but we have nothing to be ashamed of.

"Learn to write well..."

This was the advice Dave gave to Jake as he prepared for college... Great advice.

And Jake apparently took it seriously.


Sara and I traveled to Seattle this weekend to watch the staged reading of Jake's fourth play. Staged readings are essentially professional readers theater; the purpose is to elicit feedback from actors and audience about the play. The playwright then considers the feedback, edits where appropriate, and then produces a finished play -- ready for performance.

The staged reading was brilliant. The actors were amazing, there was a large audience (unusual, apparently), and the feedback session lasted nearly two hours. The audience were engaged and generous in their praise.

This play will make Jacob famous.

You can watch a YouTube video of the staged reading (Vitriol, by Jacob Sherman). But really, you should just come to Seattle in July and watch the play.

Jake and friends have formed their own production company, Handwritten Productions. They will produce the play this summer: July 7th-9th, 14th-16th, 21st-23rd. I will be there the weekend of the 14th to the 16th. I'll rent an apartment for the weekend and host any overnight guests who need a bed... Anybody wanna join me?

Learn to write.

Jake did.


[update, May 17: Looks like I'll be in Seattle for Vitriol on July 8 and 9. Come join us!]