Tuesday, November 10, 2009

So I’ve been thinking...


So I've been thinking...

Clara used to say that, which always elicited an “oh oh” look from Fred. But, whether or not my thoughts cause that Oh Oh feeling in others, they sometimes do in me.

Sometimes I avoid meditation and over-fill my time so I can ignore issues I should address. A good friend of mine seems to sense when I haven’t been reflecting or asking myself hard questions, and somehow always has the perfect book to force introspection. And then he follows up with the questions I have been avoiding.

The latest Rx in the Bibliotherapy, which I just returned, was “Destructive Emotions” – the record of a week-long conversation between the Dalai Lama and leading scientists around convergence in understanding the neurology and spirituality of emotions, and the idea that even “good” emotions can be overwhelming, and become destructive.

So, I’ve been thinking. About love. About pride and expectations. About random pieces of old conversations with Jake and Sara. And the stereotype of the overbearing Jewish mother. And I wonder if Jake or Sara feel that my pride in them is dependent on a certain GPA, a particular career, some pre-defined life path.

I hope not. I’ll be sure to tell them that I am proud of who they are, not what they do. Because I can see the potential to develop a contorted happy-face dance. That would be very sad. That would be Pride turned Destructive.

Made me think….

There's a poem bubbling on this, but I need to find some time to meditate...

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