Unfinished business

So I’ve been thinking… about unfinished business and unexpected life events. I think the saddest thing about Mars’ death is that he left this turn at life with unfinished business. I don’t mean bills unpaid, laundry undone. I mean the serious business of raising children well into their own, of resolving lost loves and reaffirming new friends (though Mars was a master at welcoming friends). Of reaching a point in your life when your death will be mourned and you will be missed, but there is nobody who regrets not having been able to have that heart-to-heart talk that leads to amends-making or deep understanding and connection. And when your children really know you, better than your friends know you.

Judaism has an annual holiday, Yom Kippur, designed to encourage these resolutions every year. The week between Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur, Jews seek forgiveness from those they have wronged. On Yom Kippur, we admit to G-d our digressions and affirm to do better next year.

Finished business includes making sure that the people you love know deeply that you love them. Beyond the words you say --

I think I am pretty close to that stage in my life… where I am wrapping up my last bits of unfinished business. I have things I’d like to do, adventures I’d like to have. Certainly I want to watch Jake and Sara grow into their futures -- they have great amounts of unfinished business, and watching them navigate through the temptations and side streets of life’s journey… watching them learn to be open and trusting with another, and to reach contentment… that will be a joy. But they will do these things even without my witnessing them.

I think David has some unfinished business, too. I have great compassion for the struggles I believe he is facing, and though I didn’t have the stamina to work through his journey of discovery with him, I hope he finds the secret to peace and happiness.

All I know is this: everything ends. And every day is another opportunity to show your loved ones how centrally important they are to you. And an opportunity to bring new friends into your life.

Kim