Big Rocks

Lately, I've been meditating on my calendar / work life / play life. I don't have any answers or decisions, but I'm asking questions I hadn't anticipated needing to answer when I left Dave and set up my new 5-year plan. Only two years into it, and I'm rethinking.

I thought I wanted to work A LOT, on a variety of professional projects (research, professional writing, personal writing, UO, Alaska, consulting, workshops) and develop the dog kennel (hiking, showing, breeding, puppy sales), travel once a year with Jake and Sara and a multi-day hike once a year on my own (with 'Hounds). Time with Jake and Sara, extended family, friends. Though most of that is still on my list, I've got this new thing to work in and adjustments to make around spending time with someone else. I'm not sure how to do all of that yet. Except that I need to consider carefully the impact of potential increased work commitments starting this Fall.

And part of me hesitates to make big changes that may close an avenue, because I am aware that each of these activities could disappear from the list for any number of reasons. Gam zeh ya'avor (this too shall pass)...

But hedging my bets feels like only half-assed focus / commitment, which of course may have its own consequences.

For now, I'll just muddle through what's currently on the calendar, and accept my changing focus ~ and develop better skill in managing my calendar, rather than letting my calendar manage me. A friend talks about putting the big rocks into the vase first. If you think of your day as a vase, and your "to do" items as a variety of materials (big rocks, pebbles, sand, water), then the formula is like this: Big rocks are those things that refresh our souls, but that we tend to not put on our calendar (in our vase), because we are busy with the tasks that have due dates... represented by pebbles, sand and water. You can put in the pebbles to your day, add sand, fill in with water, and not have room for the big rocks. But, if you put in the big rocks first (exercise, time with friends, meditation, walks with dogs, etc), then the pebbles and sand and water can fill around those.

It's a matter of priorities. Those items not in the day's vase may be very important to my well-being, but leaving them out means I have chosen another priority.

I dunno. This is all kinda new: challenging and exciting and chaotic and scary and comforting all at once. I am blessed and cursed with unlimited possibilities.

Okay. One day at a time. Big rocks first...